Half the trouble, if we are fifteen or twenty — then we can boldly play this game, sadly called life, and risk as much as possible with these opposites. On the other hand, when we grow up and reach this twenty-five or thirty years, we begin to realize that we should differ, at most, in genders — and not necessarily. Therefore, the answer to the main question contained in the content of this post could be short: Yes, opposites attract.
Why do opposites attract?
First of all, out of curiosity. We are interested in everything that we do not know, do not know, and what we would like to know and know. If my life is passing in a gray suit because I work in a jumble-boring corporation, it is no wonder that I am bricked up at the sight of a friend of my friends who is all in tattoos, and the world has decided to travel by bicycle.
Or vice versa: I live alone from party to party, I do not believe in life after Friday and if I slow down, it is only because my high heel shoes have actually broken a pin. That is why I am so foolish when I finally get an ordinary couch potato — one that will tiptoe, forgive the makeup that has not been washed off after the night, and cook a broth for the certain death of a hangover. In a word — people are turned on by the fact that they are different from us. And the fact that we wouldn’t be able to be like that ourselves.
So is it good to associate with someone who is so different from us? Yes, for many reasons. First, just to satisfy my curiosity. Second, we can really learn a lot from each other. Third, we are an impenetrable field of knowledge, experience, and inspiration. Fourth, finally, something is happening, there is fire, and therefore — we will definitely not get bored with each other.
Why don’t opposites form a lasting relationship?
Usually, women looking for men who are totally different from us has more downsides than pluses. Why? However, because there are issues on which we must agree, we must be similar to each other. If I myself dream of a group of children and a piece of land somewhere on the edge of the forest, I would rather not create a permanent relationship with someone who works twenty hours a day, and the peak of his dreams is an apartment at the top of an exclusive skyscraper. At current prices, with the size of a small wine cellar.
Or otherwise. There will be nothing of this relationship if my guy is a typical homebody and he goes away at most on weekends to his mother, and I myself dream of a career as a mountain guide, or even better — in the Himalayas. Do you already understand what’s going on?
It is nicely expressed by the perhaps a bit pompous, but still sensible quote from “The Little Prince”. That love is not about looking at each other, but about looking in the same direction together. However, here lies the main problem of a relationship with someone other than us. We look at the other person with undying admiration, we are enchanted and fascinated by them. And that’s not what long-term relationships are about. It means: not only about that. Because it is much more important to look to the future together, that is: forward. To have common needs, ambitions, and goals.
Do we have to be identical?
Before someone comes up with the theory about the two halves of an orange, I also want to calm down. No, it is not at all that we are looking for someone who will be like us, identical. After all, we are not looking for a twin brother, but a man to live with. Someone with whom we will share our sorrows and joys, with whom we will have the suitable zodiac sign Capricorn woman, with whom we will wake up, and with whom we will fall asleep. Who will finally see us without panties, will wipe their nose when a runny nose comes, and with whom sooner or later we will probably have to take this goddamn loan for 30 years.
Therefore, let us be clear: it is not about being with our own copies. If someone likes infantile comparisons, then rather than an orange, I would compare a relationship to two puzzles — the important thing is to fit together, not to look the same. It’s not like you must also have common interests and passions.
So the very approach to life is important. We don’t have to agree with each other on everything, but it’s good when we agree on really basic issues. When we similarly answer the questions: how do we want to live, where do we want to live, with whom do we want to live. The last point is more about having children than about whether any of the mothers will be able to live with you.
When do we grow up to start believing it?
Of course, many people may disagree with this. He may argue that being with someone like us is boring, that it is much more fun to differ and thus complement us. On the other hand, my experience and the experience of those around me clearly indicate that sooner or later it grows out of something like diapers.
When we went crazy at a village fair when we tried relationships with people so different from us that not only was the heat of passion but every day for any reason left and right, sparks came out of it when we finally satisfied our curiosity — then we will probably start looking for a partner with whom we will look in the mirror and — take a deep breath — admit that we are at least similar to each other.